Thursday, July 29, 2010

One Year

One year ago today, we watched helplessly as our son slipped away.

I do not know where the time has gone, or how I have managed to live 365 days without my sunny little boy. Most days now I can say that I find glimmers of hope. I can find things to smile about and be thankful for. But it is still so very difficult to find true joy in this new life. My mind is no longer focused on the things of this world, but instead, my soul aches as it never has before, for something more...something beyond this life. I cling to the hope of life beyond the grave and I wait impatiently for the day when I will see my Noah.

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father smile and say "well done"
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...

We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope

~With Hope~
Stephen Curtis Chapman
(written after the tragic death of his daughter)

Our little Noah, you touched our lives in a way that words could never express. You were such an incredible, courageous little boy who could somehow capture the hearts of everyone you met. We were so blessed to hold you in our arms, even for such a short time. We will forever treasure those beautiful years.
Missing your bright smile. Missing your precious laugh. Missing hearing "mama" repeated over and over again. Missing how our lives revolved around your needs.
Missing you today and everyday...


Maroo said...

Just wanted to drop you a note this morning to let you know that we are praying for all of you guys today.

That song is so beautiful - I am so terribly sorry for your loss and how hard today (and every day) must be.

Hang in there! I hope you find some peace that passes understanding today.

nicole said...

praying that the Lord will carry you today. praying that you may rest in His arms and find peace, even for a moment today.

Kim said...

Praying for your aching soul today, that you would find peace in the arms of Jesus, the very same arms that are holding Noah. Love you all. Missing my little bean...

Karen W said...

Love heart bleeds for your pain, your loss...I am with you-forever walking a horrible path of grief

Anonymous said...

I think of Noah often. He had the most awesome smile! I continue to keep your family in my prayers.

Lynn (cajunfan on the DIS)

Just Breathe said...

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. ((HUGS))

Anonymous said...

Just wanted you to know that I am praying for you all today. Thinking about Noah and what a courageous and brave little boy he was. Noah was so lucky to have you as his Mom and you were so lucky to have him as your son, I wish it could have been longer. Hugs and prayers to you all.

Beth (MouseTriper)

Ms. Sarah said...

you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

Leanne said...

Remembering Noah, and remembering your family.

Ramona said...

Thanking of you guys today... And hoping that Jesus is taking that ache and surrounding you with His strength peace. Noah's life has spoken to so many people and this blog is full of comments that speak of a testimony of the joy he brought to so many people.

Anonymous said...

Today, Noah celebrates his one year birthday in Heaven, growing up healthy and strong and awaiting you! May you find HIS peace in the midst of your sorrow and loss and be comforted that you will see your son again someday. Take care of yourselves and cry as much as you need to, take care.

Anonymous said...

I often pray to God, to let Him know that when I reach the realized hope of eternity, although I am very much looking forward to running into the arms of Jesus, I have 2 little ones I will be looking around for first. I have asked God many times for His anticipated understanding when I run off to the side to hug the little ones I have been waiting sooooo long to hug, before I bask in His presence. I'm certain that He understands my prayer.
Praying for your achingly empty arms today.

Alison said...

Nichole and family, my thoughts and prayers are with you today as you remember your sweet, sweet boy.

Anonymous said...

I hope this song encourages you. I have only shared two verses. Praying for you and your family as you continue to grieve...

"Oh Love that Will Not Let Me Go" by Christopher Miner

O love that will not let me go
I rest my weary soul in thee
I give thee back the life I owe
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain
I cannot close my heart to thee
I trace the rainbow through the rain
And feel the promise is not vain
That morn shall tearless be

Jamie said...

I've been thinking of you all week. Looking forward to seeing you soon.

Sandie said...

Praying for you...

Matthew said...

Just wanted to let you know we were thinking of you. Found some Disney pins the other day and your wonderful kids, came to mind...

Peace be with y'all!