Monday, November 23, 2009

Off to See the World

These days we are all slowly hobbling along, looking for ways to fill our days and lessen the ache and longing for our old life back. Lately we've kept busy catching up on many things that have been neglected around here for so long. We've done the rounds of maintenance appointments for everyone...optomotrist, doctor, dentist (this one needed a couple of rounds), othodontist (yes, both kids are going to need this), H1N1 shots, and all the puppy shots. And now it's time to get away for a bit.

For a couple of months now we've been making some plans. We've all been feeling the desire to escape, and when thinking about where we should go, the answer was obvious. Back to Disney, which holds so many fond memories for us. And back to visit Give Kids the see Noah's new paving stone, to find his star, to ride the carousel and remember him. It has given the kids something to focus on and look forward to and something for me to fill my time obsessively planning. So in a few days we are off to see the world.

Now that it is upon us, I have very mixed emotions. It has been difficult to try and pack for the four of us, and have absolutely no idea how to even begin without a million medical supplies. And to book our dining reservations for a family of four, instead of five. So why go back to a place that holds so many memories? I'm not sure...all I know is that my heart does not want to be anywhere that Noah is not. It desires to be surrounded by him, and very few places hold as many happy memories for our family as Disney. After such an emotional trip in February, I expect that this one will be even more so. But I am hoping and praying that there will be more smiles than sorrow...more happy tears than sad. A time to remember and also to make new memories.


Anonymous said...

Nichole, we wish you a wonderful trip with many happy memories; with more happy tears than sad ones, like you say. May God use this as a time to heal your broken heart a little more. Enjoy! Mom L.

Linda (khalana) said...

Oh I am so so happy for you that you'll be going back! We are also going back in a coupe of weeks as Lydia will most likely be put on the heart transplant list in January. It will be nice to make some good memories.
I am also heartbroken for you that you can't take little Noah with you and watch him enjoy it all over again.... Big (((hugs))) for you, Nichole. Praying a blessing and peace over your trip, that there will be lots of joy mixed in with the grief and that you will find many opportunities to smile and laugh. May God bless you all.

Anonymous said...

We join you in your prayer for more happy tears than sad, and for good memories of Noah to surround all of you. Will be praying for you every day.

Kim said...

Know that God holds all your tears...of joy and those of sadness. Praying too that there will be tears of good memories, and those of making new memories. Praying for an awesome trip, peace, joy and comfort. May all your family be blessed with this time together.
PS- Tell Kailyn I'm shrinking myself with my newly made shrinking machine so I can fit in her suitcase!

We'll miss you lots, especially our regular Friday get together.

Love to you all,

Jamie said...

We'll be thinking of you guys as you go. I hope that it can be a restful and peace-filled time for you all.

Kathy's corner said...

We will be praying for you "continuously" that this would be a time of healing for all of you. I know that Noah and Jesus will be smiling down on you. Noah would want you to enjoy it all. love mom

Anonymous said...

I pray that you will feel Noah all aound you on this trip and that you will smile from all the happy memories you have of him there. I pray that you all have a wonderful time together making some more memories as well.

Hugs to you!
Beth (MouseTriper)

kimmylaj said...

i am crying as i read your post as the thought of going somewhere so wonderful without your precious noah breaks my heart , i cant begin to imagine what it does to yours. i just want to send you wishes and prayers for an enjoyable trip, for relaxation, for comforting memories. there is so much i wish for all of you and find it impossible to express. please know that your entire family continues to be in my prayers.

Janice Walker said...

Oh how wonderful!!!! I'll ask God to let Noah have a break from all the splendor and to sit and watch you all from above!!

The Keowns said...

may you have a wonderful, relaxing trip.
Take lots of pictures and we look forward to seeing a picture of Noah's stone

alison (twinmum) said...

Nichole, I just posted over on the DIS, but I'll add here that I too will be praying that you will have more happy tears than sad. I know that you will be feeling Noah's presence. As others have said, he'll be smiling down at you, happy to see you enjoying yourselves in a spot where you all shared such happy memories.

As always, I will keep you in my prayers.


Ramona said...

This will probably be a very hard trip. But I will join in praying that this will also provide some healing. Not forgetting, but that some of the oozing hole will begin to sooth. No I'm not saying it will go away because there is no replacement for little Noah and the huge part in your life that he will always hold. But I pray that somehow you will find it easier to breath some moments. May it also be a healing time for J & K and B.

Rosanna Toews said...

I have tried typing a comment and just can't get the right words out. Tears keep pooling in my eyes. You are in my heart Nichole. May your feet continue to feel the security of our faithful Father and may the depths of you feel His ever present and all knowing embrace. With love.

maroo said...

It is Thanksgiving Morning. I am thinking about you guys. Just wanted to send a big cyber hug your way and let you know you are not forgotten on this holiday - we love you and are praying for you every day - especially today.

Wenona said...

Praying for you as your family makes this trip. May it be a trip full of wonderful memories, healing and bonding.
God Bless.

Janice Walker said...

Nichole--have you heard Stephen Curtis Chapman's new song "heaven is the face" ? I think I think of you and Noah everytime I hear it!! The line that stands out "Heaven is the face of a little girl (boy)---Yes I know its all of this and so much more--but I can't get beyond the door". Hugs to you.

Anonymous said...


I, too, as someone posted here indicates, stumble and backspace trying to find the perfect words...and I can't. I pray this trip will be all that you want it to be and more.
Love and prayers, your WBI friend,