Monday, December 14, 2009

Back to the Deep Freeze

We have been back home for a few days now. Our trip went well, and despite the strangeness of it all, we had a good time. So many reminders there of Noah...the little ukulele in Ron Jon surf shop that I so desperately wished I had a reason to buy...meeting Tigger at breakfast...riding the carousel...Christmas at GKTW...watching Wishes fireworks...the list is endless. But we made many new memories...did alot of things we were unable to do last time...enjoyed the sun, the ocean, the food, and the infectious happiness that is Disney...very bittersweet. It really was a nice break from everything, which made it tough to come back...not only to the winter cold, but back to reality...back to our empty home...back to all the reminders of what we no longer have.
Since coming home we've been very busy...thrown right into the Christmas season with concerts, parties and now frantic last minute shopping. Busy enough that I have not had much of a chance to think about what Christmas will be like this year. But the reminders are less stocking to hang...the train set that sits in our garage, which I had already bought for worries about spending another Christmas in hospital, but wishing more than anything that we were there. Thank you to the girls in our small group who have showered me with some fun gifts and an encouraging card for each day of this difficult month. Thank you so much for your support and for recognizing how tough this time of year would be.


Anonymous said...

I often think of you and Noah, and come and read here once in a while. For some reason, Noah truly found a place in my heart, even though I never met him, only got to know him through your words and pictures. I am so happy to hear that you all had a fun time at Disney, and were able to remember happy times with Noah there. One of my favorite Disney pictures is Noah and Mickey :) I wish you strength to get through the holidays, you have many people thinking of you. ~ Jenny

Ramona said...

Seeing the photo with Kailyn, Josh and Tigger but so clearly without Noah made the tears flow. I continue to pray for comfort for you as you have that empty place where only Noah fits. May you strengthened by God's mercy and love as you walk this journey together.

Anonymous said...

Nichole, I know God is always with you...keeping you going. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you guys (especially Noah). I'm glad that you all had a wonderful time on your trip. Please know that I'm praying for your family daily. May God continue to be with you all daily.

Hugs from Charlotte, NC

Kathy's corner said...

I knew coming home would be hard for you. Coming home after a holiday is always hard to begin with, and I can't imagine what you must be feeling. Although this month will be a difficult one for you,I pray that you would sense God's nearness everyday.
You are so blessed, to have Kim, Hilda, Nicole and Heather in your life. Their creativity continues to amaze me. Thank you girls,for helping Nichole through a very hard time.
Love Mom

Kim said...

Those ocean pictures are SO beautiful...peaceful...and comforting. I'm glad you found comfort during your trip when you needed it. I have to agree with Ramona that the picture of Kailyn & Josh with Tigger was heartbreaking...knowing how very much Noah loved Tigger, and how very much you miss him.
Praying that during this season of joy and celebration you will find your own moments of joy amongst the many memories of Christmases past with Noah in your arms. Remember his smile, his infectious laugh, and his sparkling eyes. Let the tears flow as they need too. God will catch each tear and hold it to His heart, knowing that your heart is so very, very broken.

Love to you all...

sarah barker said...

Visit your lovely site here to say have a great day, keep smiling and all the best

Anonymous said...

I still think of Noah everyday, even though I never met him. He is still an inspiration and hero to me. I am praying for you and your family daily. Hugs to you all.

Beth (MouseTriper)

Anonymous said...

Hi Nicole and Brad,
So glad to hear that you enjoyed your trip and that you were able to have those peaceful, relaxing moments while also remembering Noah. Lots of prayer and love to you both, Kailyn and Josh and the grandparents and uncles and aunts as you all experience Christmas without a very, special little boy. Peace, comfort and prayers to you all.

Alison (twinmum) said...

I was so pleased to see your update, for I thought of you often during your trip. I am sure that the journey was bittersweet, but I was happy to hear that it was a time of healing and remembrance.

I know that this will be a tough time for all of you - so many firsts... Please know that we will be ending you prayers for peace and strength, and know that Noah will be watching you, sending his love. I feel so blessed to have met him...a loving, living example of God's love here.

We too are planning...hoping all the plans will fall in place...another trip to WDW in late February - just me and the boys because my hubby can't join us. It's still a surprise for the boys. I know they'll want to got to Give Kids the World. We'll ask about Noah's paver and take lots of pictures.

Wishing you all the very best of Christmas - God's message of love and hope...


Janice Walker said...

There was something genuinely joyful in this post, Nichole. I think the magic of Disney ... really the magic of getting away with your precious family...did more healing than you know. In your writing there is still a very real sadness but this time there was a glimmer of joy. I have never so enjoyed a trip through another family's eyes as I did this post. The pictures are beautiful. The castle looks amazing all lit up. Most of all ... that new memories were made. From the bottom of my heart I wish your family really the merriest of Merry Christmas. So many people love you and mourn with you.


Maroo said...

I just wanted to drop you a note and let you know that I have been thinking about you guys for the past several days.

Praying for you, still, every single day.

I am so thankful that you have a small group of Believers that are showing you His love during this very difficult time. A card for every day was such a fantastic idea and having friends like that - .... Just makes me cry just thinking about it.

We love you. Hang in there. All of you.

Mandy P said...

Youd on't know me. I stumbled across your blog. I read some of your posts and I was moved to tears. My deepest and most sincere apologies to you and your beautiful family. That sounds lame, and certainly does not capture how my heart breaks for you. I will pray for your family. There is a song by Casting Crowns called "Praise you in this storm." One of your posts made me think of it. I know I won't be able to get your family out of my mind for quite some time.