Intubation & Oscillator

Noah lost the fight early this morning to breathe on his own. He began having respiratory distress again around 1am. At 4am he started to crash. He could no longer keep his O2 sats up on his own and had to be intubated quickly. Even with the intubation, the staff was unable to ventilate his lungs. A chest xray showed that they were so bad that almost no air was moving in them at all. After being unable to raise his sats above 50 with ventilation, we thought that we may not be able to resuscitate him. The staff decided to try him on the Oscillator and after a couple of attempts, his sats began to pick up. This is one step above ventilation support, and he is needing high settings. So he is almost maxed out on the amount of support that is available to him but he is now satting well on the Oscillator and his blood gases and chest xrays are showing small signs of improvement over the course of the day. We are still trying to keep his blood pressures stable with Dopamine. There is not much left that can be done at this point except to wait and see if his lungs will have a chance to recover and if his other organs can remain stable enough to fight off the infections. He is paralyzed to keep him from fighting the tube and sedated for comfort and he gets to rest and no longer has to fight for every breath. He fought until they intubated him though! Even with sats of less than 50 when he was being bagged, he fought hard against the mask.
After almost losing him this morning, I just want more time. I'm just not ready to lose him yet! And yet I know I have to be willing to place him in God's hands.